Networking Tips for Women in Commercial Real Estate (BOMA 2025)

One of the single biggest factors limiting women’s progress in business is the lack of a network—but how can we build that network?

Julie Brown—networking expert, business strategist, and author of This Sh!t Works: A No-Nonsense Guide to Networking Your Way to More Friends, More Adventures, and More Success—shared five tools to help expand and nurture networks at the Women in Commercial Real Estate Program and Breakfast at the 2025 BOMA International Conference & Expo. Sponsored by Trane, the high-energy keynote drew on Brown’s 25 years of experience as an AEC and CRE business development expert.

4 Differences in the Way Women Network

Women do network, but they tend to do it in different ways than men, Brown noted.

1. Women tend to build smaller networks and value depth over breadth. In networking, both depth and breadth are important.
2. Women build more homogenous networks with people who look like them or are at a similar career level.
3. Women shy away from making their networks transactional. They hesitate to ask for referrals, introductions, or business.
4. Women also have less time to network. “With the lion’s share of familial obligations falling on the matriarch, networking falls to the bottom of the to-do list,” Brown said.

These differences can be overcome, and overcoming them starts with embracing five key tools that can transform your networking practices.

5 Tools to Network Better

Just five things can radically change the way you network, Brown said. They can redefine the way you interact with people in your network if you embrace them.

1. You

“People do business with and refer business to people they know, like, and trust,” Brown said. “You’re your best networking tool and career development tool.”

Try the “list yourself” approach, Brown recommended. In this exercise, you’ll make a list of all of the things that make you you, but you’re not allowed to put what you do for a living. For example, Brown’s list about herself might include “dual income, no kids,” “dog owner,” “runner,” “skier,” “bourbon enthusiast,” and more.

“The list yourself approach allows you to go into every single situation saying who you are vs. what you do,” Brown said. “In America, we are consumed by defining ourselves by what you do.” Instead, making this list allows you to focus on the many ways in which you can make a human connection with people and have conversations that induce dopamine release in the other person instead of causing it to crash.

2. Your Existing Network

Are you using the network you already have? You’ve already put the time into those relationships, Brown noted. “How could you look at that list of people and then say, ‘OK, how do I reconnect with people I’ve lost touch with? How do I strengthen those relationships and use the relationships I have to expand and grow my network?” she said. “Take your list and reconnect with people you haven’t talked to in a while. Then, I want you to ask for strategic introductions.”

Strategic introductions are a way of demonstrating to new acquaintances that you’ve been pre-vetted by someone they trust, allowing you to skip forward in the relationship-building process, she added.

“There are people on that list where some of you are like, ‘Well, we haven’t talked since pre-COVID. I think they had a kid,’” she said. “It’s weird to reach back out, but there are five words you can use to reach back out: ‘I’ve been thinking about you,’ and not in a creepy way. ‘I read this article and it made me think of you.’”

3. Organizations

Alumni groups, peer groups, and industry organizations like BOMA are so helpful in growing your network, Brown said. You also need to network inside your own office. “Organizations offer the untapped power of the shared experience,” Brown said. “How many of you currently own a Jeep Wrangler? What do we do when we pass by each other? We Jeep wave. It’s a shared experience going back 80 years.”

4. Events

People get in their own heads about going to events, but they’re great places to network, Brown said. Make a monthly calendar of events to go to and research who might be in the room. You can even ask for an attendee list to see who will be there.

Make sure your handshake is up to par. “Handshakes still set the stage of an interaction, and there’s four rules to a handshake: firm, dry, solid, no more than three seconds,” Brown said. “No dead fish handshakes, no handshakes that are moist. Solid, meaning not a cage match, not aggressive, and no more than three seconds. We’re usually exchanging names [during the handshake]. People say, ‘I’m not good at remembering names.’ That excuse is over. A person’s name is the most important sound in any language, and it’s a sign of respect.”

5. LinkedIn

Think about LinkedIn as a place where you create or enhance your personal brand, Brown advised. Start by creating a great profile. The headline can include problems you solve, not just what you do. You need a headshot that looks like today—nothing that was taken before COVID. LinkedIn also features a name pronunciation tool—you can click on the speaker icon and hear the person saying their own name. Use it as an introduction to who you are and what you can do, not just how to say your name, Brown said.

Your LinkedIn profile should also feature a call to action driving people to your website, a whitepaper, a video, or your online portfolio, Brown said. And don’t forget to name the link something memorable instead of sticking with the random combination of numbers LinkedIn assigns you when you sign up for an account.

Once you’ve optimized your profile, think about what kind of content you can create. You solve problems on a daily basis—how would you talk to other people about them? “There are no boring stories, only boring deliveries,” Brown said. “There are problems shaping every day on your jobsites and in your facilities. People would come to you if you knew how to tell a story about it.”

The Bottom Line

Most people need five solid interactions with you before they know whether they’ll trust you or refer you. Don’t give up—keep building your network and reaching out to people.

“You have not yet met all the people who are going to love you, who are going to affect your career,” Brown said. “What’s so amazing about networking is that it’s not about what you can gain, it’s about what you can give, and you haven’t met all the people who you are going to have a positive effect on either.”